||[03 Mar 2008|10:48am]
So, today, the following was posted as a myspace bulletin from one of my friends. I was going to reply to her, but I'll put it here, I'm sure some of you have seen this.
"WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
"My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Well, yes, we overthrew Saddam, but thats about it.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.
Um...k...first, I don't think any foreign aid, in the sense they mean, is going to the UK, Spain, or Australia. We have alot of business ties, so technically, there is money going there, but aid, perse? nah. This, I would also assume, includes AIDS ravashed Africa, tsunami-impovereshed Southeast Asia, and our neighbor Mexico (who, if American aid is removed, has an economy collapse that would also, wreck our economy AND flood us with exactly the type of illegal immigrants that, by the nature of this "speech" this person would probably like to avoid! BTW, am I the only person that thinks we should paying into our national debt with excess money? I mean, we are going to be wholly owned by China and Saudi Arabia VERY soon if we don't start buying back our debt.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
First, hating on France? Really? I guess cause their money is stronger than ours. Second, it wasn't the American people, it was the American government, including whatever president this is. Oh, this reminds me, I'm sure ALOT of the nations on List B are also oil rich countries. That's right, let's sever those ties!
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Personally, I'm all for internalizing our focus, zooming on growing issues in our society, like homelessness, hunger, etc. But the second half of the paragraph, I....I have no the words. For the record, most of the 9/11 terrorists were Saudi nationals. Shouldn't we be lookin there for some terrorists? Oh yeah, shit, forgot, oil...
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York
I...*sigh*... Did Rudy Guliani write this? And do you realize how dangerous this could be with Americans STILL ABROAD??? That's it, lets fuck with the Russians here, and let's see what happens with Americans out there! Way to roll the dice...
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Seriously, have you MET a Canadian? They are, like, the nicest people EVER! Even the assholes in Quebec are loveable. BTW, they are British commonwealth country, play nice.
Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
I'm not sure the exact number, but I know ALOT of Mexican Americans in our Army would just LOVE to sit at the border and take shots at their potential family members. Also, how would putting tanks on the border help ANYONE start playing straight? I'd say, you know, help us get off the cocaine would probably help more, no?
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
I don't know enough about NAFTA to mention anything. I just know this will hurt trade.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
You know, if you, instead of drilling into ANWAR, you took the money it would take to do that (plus some of the funds you are with holding from Somalia and East Timor) and pumped it HARDCORE into Electric car research, and into petrolium substitutes, we wouldn't even need oil in, probably, 10-20 years, which would probably last longer than the amount of oil that is in Alaska
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
So, we have a former used car salesman from Oklahoma as our President. Got it.
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
They hate us cause we bomb first and half-assed apologize later. We support countries that kill not only American citizens, but citizens of our list A countries too.
God bless America . Thank you and good night. "
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
If we had lost the American revolution, we woulda STILL been reading English, thank you. If we had not tried to push the American agenda all over the place, we wouldn't have people angry at us. Just saying.
Really? Was this necessary? This made me pissed off to read..