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Jason

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[31 Dec 2008|05:44pm]
http://www.cracked.com/article_15231_7-reasons-21st-century-making-you-miserable.html

Um, awesome.
2 comments|post comment

[24 Dec 2008|09:35am]
I'm normally a little practical, and a little humbug, about the Christmas season.

However, if a well funded, highly specialized military unit can get into it, I think I can.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081224/ap_on_re_us/tracking_santa

Enjoy. Happy Holidays, hoes. Hoes Hoes.
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[28 Sep 2008|08:26pm]
Finding a place to live in San Francisco is 11 kinds of fucking difficult no good reason.

I need a place to live by Oct. 1st. If I find a place, at this point, it would fucking amazing

Fuck this town.
5 comments|post comment

Cause I dont feel like a real post [05 Jun 2008|02:09am]
My now fav remix:



Drop it like its hot....with one your fav games ever...
1 comment|post comment

[09 May 2008|01:47pm]
Snoop Dogg just made an appearence on One Life to Live.

Exit quote "Ladies; pimpin has just left the building!"

He performed some new song.

Edit: Day 1;

1 comment|post comment

[03 Mar 2008|10:48am]
So, today, the following was posted as a myspace bulletin from one of my friends. I was going to reply to her, but I'll put it here, I'm sure some of you have seen this.

"WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
"My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Well, yes, we overthrew Saddam, but thats about it.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Ok...

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

Um...k...first, I don't think any foreign aid, in the sense they mean, is going to the UK, Spain, or Australia. We have alot of business ties, so technically, there is money going there, but aid, perse? nah. This, I would also assume, includes AIDS ravashed Africa, tsunami-impovereshed Southeast Asia, and our neighbor Mexico (who, if American aid is removed, has an economy collapse that would also, wreck our economy AND flood us with exactly the type of illegal immigrants that, by the nature of this "speech" this person would probably like to avoid! BTW, am I the only person that thinks we should paying into our national debt with excess money? I mean, we are going to be wholly owned by China and Saudi Arabia VERY soon if we don't start buying back our debt.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

First, hating on France? Really? I guess cause their money is stronger than ours. Second, it wasn't the American people, it was the American government, including whatever president this is. Oh, this reminds me, I'm sure ALOT of the nations on List B are also oil rich countries. That's right, let's sever those ties!

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Personally, I'm all for internalizing our focus, zooming on growing issues in our society, like homelessness, hunger, etc. But the second half of the paragraph, I....I have no the words. For the record, most of the 9/11 terrorists were Saudi nationals. Shouldn't we be lookin there for some terrorists? Oh yeah, shit, forgot, oil...

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

I...*sigh*... Did Rudy Guliani write this? And do you realize how dangerous this could be with Americans STILL ABROAD??? That's it, lets fuck with the Russians here, and let's see what happens with Americans out there! Way to roll the dice...

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Seriously, have you MET a Canadian? They are, like, the nicest people EVER! Even the assholes in Quebec are loveable. BTW, they are British commonwealth country, play nice.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

I'm not sure the exact number, but I know ALOT of Mexican Americans in our Army would just LOVE to sit at the border and take shots at their potential family members. Also, how would putting tanks on the border help ANYONE start playing straight? I'd say, you know, help us get off the cocaine would probably help more, no?

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

I don't know enough about NAFTA to mention anything. I just know this will hurt trade.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

You know, if you, instead of drilling into ANWAR, you took the money it would take to do that (plus some of the funds you are with holding from Somalia and East Timor) and pumped it HARDCORE into Electric car research, and into petrolium substitutes, we wouldn't even need oil in, probably, 10-20 years, which would probably last longer than the amount of oil that is in Alaska

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

So, we have a former used car salesman from Oklahoma as our President. Got it.

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

They hate us cause we bomb first and half-assed apologize later. We support countries that kill not only American citizens, but citizens of our list A countries too.

God bless America . Thank you and good night. "

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

If we had lost the American revolution, we woulda STILL been reading English, thank you. If we had not tried to push the American agenda all over the place, we wouldn't have people angry at us. Just saying.

Really? Was this necessary? This made me pissed off to read..
3 comments|post comment

your choice! [29 Feb 2008|01:56am]
which is better: Radiohead's Creep or Stone Temple Pilots' Creep?



or

5 comments|post comment

[21 Feb 2008|02:50pm]
1. Pick 15 of your favourite movies.
2. Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie. (or write it yourself if you can, you know, actually remember dialogue from your favourite films)
3. Post them here for everyone to guess, bold them.
4. Strike it out unbold it when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions. Totally cheating, you dirty cheaters

1. Death is... whimsical... today.

2. And I hate Tabitha Soren and all there Zionist MTV fucking pigs telling us we should get along. Save the retorical bullshit Hilary Rodham Clinton cuz it ain't gonna fuckin' work.

3. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for conversation, but maybe you could just shut up for a moment?

4. That guy is tense. Tension is a killer.

5. When the Grey Hair is dead, Magua will eat his heart. Before he dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Grey Hair will know his seed is wiped out forever. Thank you, Vera

6. Why would a reviewer make the point of saying someone's *not* a genius? Do you especially think I'm *not* a genius? You didn't even have to think about it, did you? Yay Vera.

7. Wow... I'm sexually aroused, Commander

8. Oh and it is LOVELY. You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.

9. Reciprocity, Mr. Hudgens, is the key to every relationship.

10. Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying "hi" to my monster!

11. You were the most powerful man in England. And you could have been greater still, but you had not the courage to be loyal, only the conviction of your own vanity

12. Where do they teach you to talk like this? In some Panama City "Sailor wanna hump-hump" bar, or is it getaway day and your last shot at his whiskey? Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here. Again, YAY VERA!

13: No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality

14. I wouldn't make you out to be a burglar, not in that outfit.

15. And may their first child be a masculine child
6 comments|post comment

[16 Feb 2008|02:32am]
It never ceases to amaze me how much people hate Dane Cook
17 comments|post comment

*ahem* [03 Feb 2008|07:17pm]
Fuck the Patriots.

MANNINGS 4 LYFE!!!

That is all.
2 comments|post comment

HELP ME HELP YOU! [04 Jan 2008|03:00am]
Need some help addressing an issue with a lover, friend, parent, pet, stalker, hooker, or long-distance pen pal?

WE'RE HERE TO HELP!

(And by "we", I mean, me, royally)

I'm putting together a new Livejournal/Myspace page/group where people ask relationship questions, and I give insight that actually helps, even if it means insulting the hell out of you. I'm thinking of Greg Behrendt mixed with Mil Millington (look him up, he's AWESOME).

The only thing? I need YOU to send me questions. I don't need to know its about you, or your friend, or your mom, just send me the questions. Don't make me answer questions from other advice columns, CMON! (I may do that anyway, just to start out).

Tell your friends: have them send me their questions here. I promise I wont add them if they dont want it, and I'll give fake names as needed. If they want to send it to me via real email, let me know, and I'll let you know where to send them.

Really, I don't care if its all fake, but make it SOUND believable.

Thanks!
--Jason
6 comments|post comment

[15 Dec 2007|08:37pm]
I Can has cheezburger.com is AWESOME:

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

More to come!
5 comments|post comment

Shamelessly stolen [11 Dec 2007|12:24pm]
*edit* I did this for Myspace and LJ, here's the averages of the two (aka, which one was better out of the two)

Go to the Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.
Click random article again; that is your album name.
Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

Band Name: From Sarah with Love (Math Metal if I ever heard it)
Album title: Mad Ship (awesome, wish this was my band name)

Song Titles:
1. Some Velvet Morning (a cover in fact!)
2. Curzon Dax
3. Crank the System (another cover, yay nu-metal!)
4. University of Avignon
5. Mirka De Arellano
6. Valea Frapţinilor River (heh)
7. Ray Lally
8. Bonn Stadtbahn
9. National Museum of African American History and Culture
10. Sworn (A one man black metal band. \m/ -_- \m/)
11. Mysterious Dungeon (anime?)
12. List of highways numbered 44
13. Albeta
14. Simple Man (album) (by a German Countertenor)
15. Linn Valley, Kansas
2 comments|post comment

I was right... [07 Dec 2007|11:51am]
Samson, Delilah AND Jezabel are in the Bible.

anyway, meme time:

Take your mp3playing device and set it to shuffle.
Put down the first line of the first 10 songs with lyrics to come up.
Let people guess at them- advise these people to try to avoid using a search engine

1. We were safe, now we're paralyzed, suspended in flight...
2. Bat your eyes girl, be other worldly...
3. Here we all are, standing here, slave me, embrace me..
4. Papas faith is people, Mama she believes in cleaning
5. Hello, Mr. Zebra, can I have your sweater, cause its cold cold cold.... (Mr. Zebra, Tori Amos, thank you jiggahava
6. How do, how do you do? My name is you...
7. Here in the night love takes control, Making me high, making me whole
8. A man comes up, he's got the twitch, what are we doing here?
9. Dirty dog, I'm a dirty dog...
10. These policies of lies, have brought us here tonight, dissatisfaction pulls you under.
3 comments|post comment

For my opera friends... [06 Dec 2007|11:30am]
All three of you...

1 comment|post comment

For my opera friends... [30 Sep 2007|04:05am]
First her husband, now this:

No-show opera singer given the sack

Opera singer Angela Gheorghiu has been fired from her latest role after bosses said she missed rehearsals.

The soprano was playing Mimi in a production of La Boheme by the Lyric Opera of Chicago. Public criticism of performers by management is rare in classical music, but Lyric Opera general director William Mason took the unusual step of detailing the reasons for the dismissal.

"Miss Gheorghiu has missed six of 10 rehearsals, including the piano dress rehearsal and both staging rehearsals with the orchestra," Mason said. "She missed one of the most critical stage-orchestra rehearsals when she left the city for New York without permission, a direct violation of her contract."

Gheorghiu, a 42-year-old Romanian widely admired for her vocal allure and dramatic abilities, is married to tenor Roberto Alagna, who is currently performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera.

Mason said she had demanded new costumes for her performances in the Puccini opera, then refused to attend fittings."

More here: http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5gU4s8WkFa0bs0jWlvDVuLW6dateA

To quote saengerin: "They [Angela and her husband] both need to get a fucking grip. They've been presenting themselves as completely indispensible to opera for years ("When people come to see Angela, they come to dream!"), and I'm glad the curtain's finally coming down on them. NONE of us are indispensible. As a matter of fact, we are fucking disposable...and the trash man makes regular rounds."
3 comments|post comment

My hero... [26 May 2007|11:49am]
3 comments|post comment

[10 Apr 2007|02:01am]
If you want someone’s attention you have to scream from the back of the room to be heard. Once you have everybody’s attention you have to whisper to keep it.

Thank you Maynard
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[20 Mar 2007|09:27pm]


Wait til about a minute 40.

Thats me almost spooning that girl. My girlfriend gave me alot of shit for it at the time. Thank you Forbes. You whore.
6 comments|post comment

Any remember... [18 Mar 2007|02:35am]
when this was a big deal?



I like it better in Russian...
8 comments|post comment

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